Isn’t Sexting Just Flirting?

This is the first of periodic blogs that will be posted for my youth group or discipling groups. I want you to understand you can ask any question, no matter how “real” and I will try to combine both my knowledge of God’s word and his character to give you the best contemporary answer I know how to give. I have other friends who read this blog and they will, as you can, give their opinions as well or add other Scriptures.
I was really surprised when I got this question. I am not sure why, but it just made me step back for a minute. Isn’t sexting just flirting? For those who don’t know “Sexting” is a contemporary fad of sending cell phone pictures back and forth of different suggestive or explicit poses of yourself. Some kids will send pictures of themselves kissing others of the same sex, or nude or semi-nude pictures of breasts, vaginal areas, crotches or butts. They usually think it is “cute”, “shocking” or being extreme.

Flirting is playful interaction with “interest” overtones.  I don’t know how to say that different. It isn’t sexual necessarily, but it is “I think I might like you a lot!” So we use words, looks, or pictures to get the interest of others. It is trying to get them to like us back. When we start any new thing we don’t always get it right, so I want to help those of you just starting your “flirting life” to keep from making some big mistakes.
Try to think with me about what you already know. First of all, you understand that there is something a bit wrong with it because you hide it from others. You know your folks will take your phone for a while, ground you, or yell at you if you are caught sexting.
You also may be under the impression that whoever you send a photo to will be keeping it private. Wrong assumption! We need to get real here… How long does it take for the latest gossip about who is dating who, who dumped who, and who said what about who to get around in our towns? Seriously, you know that we don’t keep secrets very well. A “hot” sext message is going to make the rounds. Boys are going to brag to their friends, other girls are going to be whispering about it. There is a quote in one of those old books in the Old Testament, called Numbers 32:23 that says when you “sin against the Lord, your sin will find you out.”
But the real thing we have to look at is “Why is sexting wrong if they didn’t have a way to do this sin before the last few years?” The great things about God’s word is that he gave us principles to use to get us going the right way and giving up the wrong way. When you start doing this, heading the right way, the Bible describes that as discipleship. That is why I call you disciples. Some disciples go on to become Christians, but that is for another time.
God tells disciples to live controlled lives, the Bible talks a lot about self-control. It means that we try to stay within the lines God says will make us like him. Usually these things make us happier. I say usually because there are things that are fun about sin, short term fun, but to be real… they are fun. Drinking crazy can be fun at the moment, but when the car flips a few times and someone goes to the hospital, the fun is gone. When the school kicks you off the team, the fun is over. Self-control isn’t just about drinking or partying, it is about how you control all of you. We don’t go to the bathroom in the town square because we know some things are private. The same is true of your body. God talks about modesty, telling us to think about what we wear, and how we wear it. In the Bible times if people showed off their wealth by wearing gold and jewels in their hair, it was “immodest”, and God warned them not to do it. In our culture, if you go flashing your breasts, showing your butt, or spreading your legs on a camera, that is immodest. It is taking something that is considered private and throwing it out there for the whole world. It cheapens you, takes away your most personal self and exposes it to anyone who wants to look.
When Jesus was talking to a woman who had done something similar, she was having sex with a man she wasn’t married to, he told her, “I won’t condemn you, but don’t do this again.” As you work to perfect your discipleship, this is a great area to begin to limit yourself. Maybe you didn’t realize just how wrong it was… There may even be pictures out there of you that you wish weren’t there. We can’t undo the past, but I don’t condemn you, I just expect you to not do it again.
Ask for more information if you want to. Just leave me a comment below.